After listening to the Oscar ceremony, I have come to the conclusion that it's actually pretty hard out there for a pimp: * Dental insurance won't cover your grill. * Pimpmobiles make lousy gas mileage. * Kobe Bryant's being a good boy now. * Hos want to expand into credit and Paypal, but that doesn't make for an impressive pimproll. * So much time wasted despamming your pimpblog. * The new hundreds, fifties, twenties, and tens also contain secret anti-pimp measures. How can you do your pimping with just fives and ones? * Ornamental canes seen as weapons, leading to many arrests. * Way too many BA in Pimpology degrees out there. Now you need a Masters or PhD to get the job. * Escorts actually just want to escort. * Translating Snoop Dogg Speak is tough. What does Qizzle mean, anyway? * Johnny Law is cracking down on underage hookers, but Gary Glitter just keeps offering more money. * People assume pimpslaps and bitchslaps are the same thing. There's a difference, man! * Lack of birth control use results in too many cribs in your crib. * Dancer Industry infringing on Ho Industry. * Pimp Lobby already weakened by Clinton's departure now dealing with Kennedy erectile dysfunction issues. * Competition from illegal Mexican pimps. * Rap industry hurt by illegal downloads, cutting back from bling-bling to just bling to make ends meet. * "Friends and Family" wireless plan doesn't extend to "Bitches and Hos." * iTunes refuses to carry pimpcasts. * PETA protests against fur hats and hubcaps. So if you're a pimp, my heart goes out to you. And thank goodness the actors and actresses of the world have come together to salute your tireless service.

Why do people call you Cap'n Kiwi?

I think the name is grand!

Tait is Great!!!